It's been said that God will use your pain for purpose. So for anyone who reads this I hope you are able to find something in this that can help you or help you feel less alone in your own journey of life.
I have lost 4 close family members. It is hard to grieve the loss of someone you love at a young age and don't have a full understanding of what is happening and what happend. I was 5 years old when I lost my grandpa. I called him, Papa, he was my mom's dad. We were close and had a great relationship. I love all the memories we created in a short time.
Then when I was 12 I lost my aunt. My mom's sister. She passed away after a fight with breast cancer. I didn't go to see her in the hospital at all from January 2008 - March 2008 the day she passed. And I definitely regret that and I also know she understood why I didn't want to and also I have a hard time of being in a hospital and passing out. This still hurts me and bring tears to my eyes.
One year later, I am now 13. In July 2009, I find out that my dad was in a motorcylce accident and had passed away. He got hit by a drunk truck driver. Never met my dad and won't be able to in this life. Then I also found out I had an older half sister who is 3 years older than me. So 2years later in 2011, I met the other half of my family. It was a lot to take in to say the least. And crazy to think I have known them know for 13 years. I am glad that I was able to meet them and create a relationship with all of them before my grandpa passed away in 2018. Thankful for being able to create a relationship of some sorts with him and hearing some stories from him personally before his passing.
Now today you would think that family is everything to me and what not, well that is not the case there are some people who are just toxic wheather family or not they are also human. So I have decided that it is time to remove them from my life and take responsibility because it is only hurting me more. I can't live my life to please someone else because my life is not theirs and their life is not mine. We are sent here for what God has called us to be and do in our time based off of who He created us to be.
My life will not grow to its full potential if I allow others to control me which is allowing them power over me and I will not allow that anymore. I am reclaiming my power and soverntiy. What people think of you is none of your business. Listen to what God says is true about you because that is the only TRUTH that matters most.
Now from all this pain I am not sure how it relates to my purpose and I am praying God opens up that door. I know I havae a passion for health and wellness. Helping others create holistic lifestyles and it is all based on mind, body, spirit. It's all 3 together creat wholeness. Emoitonal, physical, and mental. Our whole body needs to be synched in harmony for it to function at its full potential.
I am still on my own journey through this process as I am navigating life itself just like all of us are. Being aware is step one, and making decisions and choices that feel good to our bodies and where we dream of going is next. Each of us are creating the reality we live in. If we don't like what we see then take a risk, make a different decision and keep going. I am here to help you.
Stay tuned for February blog post. Just needed to get this one out as well since it was on my heart to share. and hoping it will help others as well.
Rhiannon Handford
2/18/24
